(no subject)

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan is sitting outside the hall, working on repairing a net that belongs to one of the old fishermen.

Lagertha doesn't need him just now, and it's something useful to do with his hands while he waits for Ragnar, because surely he'll be back any day now.

Comments

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar just hugs him for a moment, cradling Athelstan's head against his shoulder. He doesn't trust himself to speak yet.

And Gyda...

He should be with Lagertha. Lagertha lost so much, so fast -- but she is comforting Björn, and he's here with Athelstan.

He can't tell who is comforting whom, only that this is as it should be, and Athelstan can't just leave!

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan leans against him, and if he's weeping too, he knows Ragnar will never tell.

"I'm sorry", he whispers.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar leans his cheek against Athelstan's hair, finding unexpected strength and solace from his presence, here in his arms.

The seagulls aren't telling on either of them, and the gods keep their counsel.

[athelstanthescribe]

"I would have traded myself for her, if I could." It's still barely a whisper. "If any god made such bargains."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"I know, Athelstan," Ragnar manages to say. "Gods don't make such bargains. Too much work. We'd all beg for them all the time."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan nods against his shoulder.

After a while, "We should go home. Lady Lagertha, and Bjorn..."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Home," Ragnar says.

It's Athelstan's home as well, a strangely warming thought. He is giving a home to those he cares about

"Yes, you are right. They need us."

[athelstanthescribe]

"There have been too many funerals lately", he says softly, moving to extricate himself but not with any real effort.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

If he made an effort, Ragnar would let go of him; like this, he doesn't yet. He will, in a moment. But not yet.

"How many people have died of this plague?" he asks. "Who else is dead?"

[athelstanthescribe]

"Thyri", he says again quietly. "Siggy is... I heard her screams, as my fever was waning. And a score of others." In a small town, that's a lot. "I don't know all their names."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"A plague that goes for the young," Ragnar says, "one that kills the ones with the most potential. If anything, the gods are angry with me, not you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Not only the young." He lifts his head to look into Ragnar's face. "And what reason could the gods have to be angry with you?"

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Why are gods ever angry?" Ragnar says. "They just are, like cranky old men with a bad knee, sometimes."

He looks down into Athelstan's clear eyes.

"I an thankful they have given me you," he then declares. "Never leave me, Athelstan!"

[athelstanthescribe]

"I'll never leave you." It's a promise. "Not if the rest of the world does... or if I must, I will return."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"Always return, Athelstan," Ragnar says, quietly. "I need you."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Then wait for me. However long I may be gone, if I live, I will find a way back."

You are all my world, is in his thoughts, but he's not daring enough to say it aloud.

"And for now, I am going nowhere."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar looks down into Athelstan's eyes, then pulls him close again, takes deep breath, then turns his head to lean his cheek once more against Athelstan's hair, a bit awkwardly.

"Good."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan settles in Ragnar's arms, taking the comfort of it, and leaving the matter of going back to the house for a little while longer.

[bigarmy_strangepants]

It is some while until Ragnar says, "You're right, we should go see Lagertha and Björn."

[athelstanthescribe]

"Yes." Reluctantly, he pulls himself out of the circle of Ragnar's arms. "They'll have finished talking by now."

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"They will need us."

Other people needing you is always the best reason to pull yourself up again.

[athelstanthescribe]

"We need you", Athelstan says softly. "Will you be staying for a while, or is the king sending you on more business?"

[bigarmy_strangepants]

Ragnar starts walking towards the houses of Kattegat. "I will stay as long as I can," he says. "The Jarl Borg problem isn't resolved yet. Rollo stayed on as a token of good faith."

[athelstanthescribe]

Athelstan keeps pace with him.

"So you've returned just to report back, and see what the king orders?"

[bigarmy_strangepants]

"No," Ragnar says. "I'm going to stay home and think about the next raid to England. Unless something gets in the way and needs to be dealt with."